The COVID pandemic changed how I saw my future unfolding. As I watched my teenage daughter initially struggle with the shift to distance learning, something began to shift in me. And so began my journey to becoming an International Master TEFL Instructor and a Building Substitute for Stonington Public Schools.
As a lover of travel, world cultures, and the English language, becoming a TEFL instructor (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) seemed like a great way to immerse myself in the things I’m most passionate about.
As I watched my daughter and her friends slowly adapted to “remote life”, albeit with more than a few challenges. As we churned into year two of pandemic life, I began thinking about the myriad of students who were likely also struggling to adapt both emotionally and socially. As the loss of life continued to rise and we knocked on the door of 2021, I began to feel an indescribable pull to make a drastic change in my life. Click here to learn about my journey to becoming an international TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) instructor and Building Sub with Stonington Public Schools.
Not My First Rodeo
There have been other times in my life that I’ve strived to advance my education. In 2014, I found myself suddenly unemployed and just a few months later, we lost my Dad to lung cancer. He was diagnosed on a Monday and passed Saturday, August 30th.
In 2006, I made the decision to start my own marketing business in order to work from home and raise our daughter Maia, and now found myself in a position to expand those skills. In the fall of 2014, just three days after burying my father, I returned to the University of Rhode Island and in the spring of 2015, earned a certification in Multimedia Design. This allowed me to elevate my 20 years of marketing experience to a level I had only dreamed about.
My TEFL Adventure
As a lover of travel, world cultures, and the English language, Teaching English as a Foreign Language seemed like a great way to immerse myself in the things I’m passionate about.
In the fall of 2021, I completed a 140-hr Master Instructor Certification through mytefl.com. Coursework included 20 hours dedicated to remote/online teaching, which means I can teach students from around the world. Other coursework included sections on Classroom Management, Teaching Approaches, Teaching Speaking, Listening, and Reading, Multimedia Resources, Curriculum Planning, Grammar, Online Teaching, and in-depth coverage of Lexis, Functions, and Phonology.
Substitute Teacher with Stonington Public Schools 2021-22 Building Substitute @ Stonington Middle School
I love creating an energetic, encouraging, and positive learning atmosphere in the absence of teaching staff. I effectively manage class behavior, follow teacher instructions and curriculum, take attendance in PowerSchool, tidy-up between classes, and email absent teachers at the end of the day. I also became a certified Test Proctor and assisted Spanish-speaking students in mainstream classrooms.
Let me start by mentioning that this story hasn’t seen the light of
day for over a decade. As a third-year Anthropology major at the
University of Rhode Island in the early 90’s, I had to interview a
first-generation United States citizen about their upbringing, and how
culture shaped their lives. I chose my Uncle Raymond, my Dad’s oldest
living brother at the time. I came across this story quite by accident
today, and remembered I’d promised to send it to Sandra Iovino Bartlett
that day at SCH. Here’s a good ‘ol dose of culture from The Hill.
Framing the story in a diary format came to me after some struggle and
desperation in trying find a creative outlet for all of the information
I’d compiled. I still have pages of hand-written notes from our
conversation tucked away in a box, along with a copy of the textbook.
“Textbook” you ask? One of my prouder college moments – and believe
me, there are some I choose to forget – is about a week after turning
the paper in, my professor called me over and said the following “You
know you got the best grade in the class, right?” I just stood there and
gawked. I knew it was special, but my hard work was validated by the
only person besides myself, that really mattered with regards to this
project. He stuck a clip-boarded form in front of my face, asking for my
permission to add this paper into a future required textbook. I was
published for the first time, along with one other student with an
Italian relative from Westerly, RI. Of course I signed. I’ve updated the
document to reflect more recent events, but I pray the loop won’t be
closed for many, many more years. Enjoy!
DIARIA D’ GUISSEPPE ANTONIO IOVINO
A son is born to Antonio and Maria Iovino, given the name of
Guisseppe Antonio Iovino, he will live in Marzano Appia, Italy with his
parents. He is the fourth child to be born to Antonio and Maria. A
formal baptism will be held in five days.
October 1918: 12 years old
Antonio Joseph and Maria Alicia Iovino are killed in a horse and
buggy accident. They are survived by 4 children: Antonette, 20 of
Lawrence, Massachusetts, USA; Marianetta, 26 of Hartford, Connecticut,
USA; Alphonse, 27 of Providence, Rhode Island, USA and Guisseppe, 12 of
Marzano Appia, Italy. A private funeral will be held in two days.
November 1918: 12 years old
Brother Alphonse has sent for me to go and live with him in
Providence, Rhode Island, USA. I am very scared to leave the land I know
and love, but I cannot live here without my Mama and Papa, and so I
must go. My sisters Maria and Antonette want me to go and live with them
also, but they do not have enough money to support me, so I will go to
Alphonse, for he is a baker with his own shop. Oh how I miss my Mama and
Papa, but other family and a new life await me in America.
December 1918: 12 years old
After weeks on a large ship, I have finally arrived at my
destination. Brother Alphonse and Sister Antonette are waiting for me on
the dock of a city unlike any I have ever seen. Alphonse is waving
papers at a man who gave me trouble; apparently I need a sponsor and a
job to be able to come to America. Brother Alphonse says everything is
okay, that he has taken care of everything, and we will have a Christmas
after all! Just being here with my family is all the Christmas I need.
February 1919: 12 years old
I started in a new school, which has been very difficult for me. The
teachers are speaking a language I am unfamiliar with, but I am sure to
catch on quickly. The teacher gets annoyed with me easily though, and
she is always saying that I must learn things the “American way”, or I
will not be able stay in school. I must try harder to please her.
March 1919: 12 years old
Brother Alphonse is very pleased with me, as my teacher has moved me
from the sixth grade to the eighth grade in just a few months. I am
learning English much quicker now, as Brother is always speaking the
language now so that I do well in school. Besides learning a new
language here in America, school seemed a lot harder in Italy.
April 1921: 15 years old
I have left school so that I may help Brother Alphonse in the bakery
all the time. I am disappointed to leave something that I am doing so
well in, but responsibility lies with Alphonse, for I would not have
this wonderful life in America if it were not for him. I believe that I
already know everything that is important to know anyway, but I will
miss the friends I have made.
May 1926: 6 days before my 20th birthday
I have met the woman of my dreams. Her name is Pasquelina and she
came into the shop today to buy some bread for her Mama. She asked me if
this was my shop, and I said no, it is Brother Alphonse’s shop, but I
am in the dough anyway! Oh what a smile she displayed. Mark my words,
someday she will be mine forever.
July 1926: 20 years old
Pasquelina and I are to marry tomorrow. It has been some years now
since my Mama and Papa passed away, and the memories seem to be fading
fast and sometimes I cannot remember what they look like. I wish so hard
that they could meet my lovely bride to be, but alas it was not meant
to be. Tomorrow I will be surrounded by friends and family, and
hopefully Mama and Papa will be smiling down on me from Heaven.
April 1927: 20 years old
I am so proud, for Pasquelina has given me a son. We have named him
Raymondo Joseph. He will be christened when he is a little stronger. We
are living now on Cedar Street, in a fine but modest home; a good home
to bring up many children. I am still baking with my brother, however,
he has not been feeling well as of late, and I am very worried. I have
written to Marianetta and Antonette to tell them about our brother, they
will come immediately for a visit. Although we do not have much room
for them here with the arrival of Ramondo, we will make do.
October 1929: 22 years old
I have once again been blessed with another son to carry on the
family name. This is very important to me, for there is only Alphonse
and I to carry on our name, but we will not survive forever. Our second
son, named Joseph Alphonse was born at home today. It is strange to have
a baby in the house again, for Ramondo is getting so big, so fast. We
speak Italian to him, and he is picking up many words very fast. His
first word was Mama. Oh how he made Pasquelina proud!
November 1933: 26 years old
Today we received a note from Raymondo’s teacher saying that she must
come over at once to speak to Pasquelina and I about Raymondo. I can
only hope that it is nothing serious and that no shame has been brought
to the family. I have told Raymondo to go to his room until after his
teacher has left just in case the news is not good.
Pasquelina and I have been blessed with three more sons: Alberto
Renaldo born in November, 1931, Renaldo Armando born in July, 1932 and
Thomas Guisseppe born in May of 1933.
November 1933: 26 years old
Raymondo’s teacher has informed us that we must speak English to
Raymondo at home all the time, as it is not enough to just speak the
language in school. Pasquelina is very upset at this, for this is our
one connection to our homeland. But alas, I remember my teacher saying
the very same thing. Pasquelina and I will give it much thought before
we make a decision to further cut our ties to our homeland of Italy.
September 1934: 27 years old
I have a new job working for the WPA which has been started under
President Franklin D. Roosevelt. I make $13.00 a week. Brother Alphonse
has sold the bakery, as he is too sick to take care of it and I must
make more money than the bakery can give me to support my large family.
So I have taken a government job, and hopefully this will lead to many
more job possibilities for me.
December 1934: 27 years old
Today, the WPA dropped off a large box of toys for the children for
Christmas. Pasquelina told Ramondo not to tell the children where the
toys had been hidden, which was on the top shelf of his closet. So what
do you think he did?
April 9, 1938: 30 years old
A sad day has come. Brother Alphonse has passed away, on the very day
a son was born. He has been sick on and off now for about ten years
because of a heart ailment, and I feel the loss very much. He is now
with our Mama and Papa, looking down proudly. But for every man who has
passed, one will come anew. Pasquelina has given birth to yet a sixth
son named Roberto Ricardo in March of 1934. Unfortunately, Pasquelina
miscarried between the births of Roberto and our first daughter Dorothy
Maria, named after my Mama, born in August of 1936. She is the apple of
my eye. I have always wanted many sons, but there is something special
about my Dorothy. Ricardo Donato is the blessed one, born on the day of
the death of my beloved brother Alphonse. He must be special to have
come to us on such a sad day. There will be no more children for us, as
we feel this is certainly a sign. We have been very lucky to bring into
the world so many healthy children that we do not dare to press our
May 1938: 31 years old
Pasquelina is very sick today, and I must go to work, so I have kept
Raymondo out of school to go to the store. This is a big test of
responsibility for our Raymondo, and I am positive he will do well, for
he always helps his Mama and Papa when we need him to. I have given him a
list of vegetables and other assorted groceries to take to the store
and purchase. I have given him instructions to prepare the food so that
when I come home, I can show him how to cook a good meal for his family.
December 1939: 32 years old
I believe my son has embarrassed me very much. Last week I came home
from the bakery to find a sled in our hallway. I knew that this sled did
not belong to any of my children, so I asked my oldest where the sled
came from. Raymondo replied that the sled was lent to him by a friend.
We will see.
December 1939: 32 years old
Well, that sled is still here one week later, and I cannot imagine
someone giving up such a beautiful sled for so long, so I told my
Raymondo that he better tell me the truth, or he will get a beating. He
told me that he stole the sled. I told him that he must put the sled
back in the child’s hallway immediately, and to never do such a thing
again. Hopefully we will not be found out, for this could give the
family a very bad reputation. Stealing is a very dishonorable thing to
do in this neighborhood. I do not bring up thieves in my family.
June 1941: 34 years old
We have moved to a larger home to accommodate our large family. Our
new home is on Spruce street. Our oldest son, Raymondo has left school
to help his Mama and Papa support the family. He has been a big help
around the house, and I know no responsibility is too great for my son.
Besides, is there ever such a thing as too much responsibility? He also
does things for the markets down the hill. He can not keep much money
for himself however, for a child with too much money to spend becomes a
very spoiled child.
June 1944: 37 years old
Another sad day, yet also a very proud one. My oldest son Raymondo,
now 17 years old, has signed up to serve his country in the Navy. He has
been sent to Samson, New York for boot camp, and his Mama and I already
miss him. But he must make his own decisions now, for he is all grown
up. We still have a full house, and the responsibility of helping
Pasquelina around the house and with the children has fallen upon
Joseph. Joseph does not seem as responsible as Raymondo, he seems very
wild. But I am sure he will do his best, as I have brought up all my
children to work their hardest at everything.
DIARY OF RAYMONDO JOSEPH IOVINO
November 1933: 6 years old
Papa has sent me to my room for the night, and I am very nervous. He
says my teacher wants to talk to Mama and Papa, and that if it is bad I
am in very big trouble, and I may get a beating. But I am trying to
think over my school day, and I am sure I did not do anything wrong. So
why did I still have to take a note home to Mama and Papa? Well, I
guess I will know soon enough.
November 1933: 6 years old
Papa came up to my room tonight before I went to bed. He says that
the teacher from Kenyon Street Elementary said that Papa and Mama must
speak English to me all the time, and with all the other kids too
because I am not doing well in school, and they do not want the same
thing to happen to my brothers. I asked if I could speak Italian with my
friends, and Papa said that if he heard me speak anything but English, I
would get a beating. Okay, I said. So later I learned to read the
Italian paper. But soon I forgot much of the language, because I am out
December 1934: 7 years old
Today, Papa’s place of work dropped off a huge box of toys for
Christmas. Mama told me under no circumstances was I to tell my brothers
that there were toys hidden on my closet shelf. So I told my brothers’
that the toys weren’t on the shelf in my closet. Mama gave me a good
spanking for that.
March 1937: 9 years old
Mama and Papa have put me in charge of all the kids while they go out
to dinner with their friends the Menentas’. The Menentas’ are good
friends; they always move in next door to us, no matter where the family
moves. So now I am not only watching my five brothers, but also the
Menentas’ kids. They have four sons, the youngest is only five months
old. It is kind of scary, because I have to run back and forth to keep
an eye on all of them. Last time I watched the kids, the baby made a big
mess. The baby’s bassinet is kept next the stove to keep the baby warm.
Well, I was about to change the baby’s diaper, and as I discarded the
dirty diaper, the baby went to the bathroom all over the stove. This was
not very fun, because it took me a long time to clean up the mess, and I
was hoping the Menentas’ would not catch me cleaning their stove. Papa
also gave me a nickel tonight because when he got home, he saw that I
had scrubbed the kitchen floor for them. I enjoy doing things to help
the family, such as ironing shirts and especially cooking.
May 1938: 11 years old
I am very proud today, because Papa asked me to do something very
important for him and Mama. He kept me out of school, which was exciting
in itself. Papa gave me a list of all kinds of groceries, and told me I
am to go to the stores and finds all the things on the list. I am then
to cut up the vegetables and prepare the dough for bread, and then wait
for Papa to get home so he can show me how to make supper for the
family. I will make him very proud of me. Mama is sick, so I must also
take care of Dicky, Dotty, Bobby and Tommy. I will take Tommy with me,
while the babies are napping.
October 1939: 12 years old
I made a very big mistake tonight. Mama and Papa always tell us kids
that if we are not at the table at exactly five o’clock, we go without
supper. Tonight, I came in the house at 5:05, and I went without
supper. I was really hungry tonight too. I guess I will not be late
again for supper.
October 1939: 12 years old
I made another big mistake. Last night I sneaked downstairs to get
some leftovers, and Papa caught me. Just for that I got 5 lashings with
Papa’s belt on my bum. I will definitely not be late for supper again.
This was worse punishment than talking during supper, which is three
December 1939: 12 years old
Today I was playing outside with my friends in the snow. My friend,
also named Raymond, had a really neat sled that I just had to have. So I
followed him home and watched him put the sled in his hallway. When he
went further inside, I sneaked into his house and stole the sled. It was
very easy. Well, I took that sled home, and told the other kids that if
they tattled on me, I would give them a whooping. They didn’t tattle,
but when Papa got home, he asked me where the sled came from. I told him
a friend lent the sled to me.
December 1939, 1 week later: 12 years old
Today, Papa asked me again where the sled came from, for he had not
seen me play outside with it. Of course I couldn’t take the sled outside
because my friend would see it. Papa told me that I had better tell him
the truth or he would give me a beating. So I told him. Papa said that I
was to return the sled immediately and if I got caught putting the sled
back, then I would get a beating. I did not get caught, and I never ran
so fast in my life.
June 1941: 14 years old
Papa has told me that he needs me to help him support the family. So I
will leave school, and this summer I will go and live with Aunt
Marianetta in Hartford as a plumbers apprentice. Sometimes I think I
will miss my favorite subjects such as English and penmanship. Although I
am do not enjoy reading very much, I do enjoy History, especially
European History, because someday I dream of visiting Italy where my
Papa comes from. But I have found that I enjoy working with my hands
because I can see the results of my handiwork much quicker than in any
other job I might have. Maybe someday I will be able to go to a trade
school to learn the theory of plumbing. I get to keep $3.00 a week out
of $65.00, and the rest must be sent home to Papa for my brothers’
clothing for the new school year, as the hand-me-downs are quite ragged
according to Mama.
July 1941: 14 years old
Aunt Marionetta and I drove up to Lawrence, Massachusetts to join
Aunt Antonette, Mama and Papa, and the rest of the family for our
once-a-year tradition of a “beach vacation”. We kids always have great
fun up there, as it is fun to see how our cousins grow each year. This
is a tradition I definitely plan to keep up when I have kids of my own.
September 1941: 14 years old
I have returned home from Hartford. What an experience. The best
thing is that I did not have to go to church every Sunday like I do at
home. Aunt Marionetta is not nearly as strict as Mama about those sort
of things. Also, I see all my brothers going to Sunday school in order
to make their First Communion. I guessed I missed the boat on that one
being the first son and all. But now that I am home again, Mama wants me
to help the kids with Bible Study, so that I can learn whatever I have
missed myself. Personally, I believe God is everywhere, so why do I have
to go to Church to find him? I asked Mama this question, and she
slapped my face.
I am doing odd jobs around the Hill, for instance I clean the butcher
block for the butcher, I slit the chickens throats that are hanging in
the poultry shop, and I also shine shoes. Papa always says with hard
work comes many rewards.
January 1942: 14 years old
Papa came up to my room tonight just like old times. He talked to me
of the old country of Italy, and how much things are different there.
Tonight he told me that the cats are very different here than in Italy.
In Italy you do not feed the cats – they catch the mice to survive. Here
in America the mice run right by the cats because the cats are fed by
humans. Papa said that this difference in cats is not all that different
from humans these days: some people do not work as hard here in America
as they did in the old countries of Europe. Sometimes he tells me about
his parents and him in Italy and his life later with Alphonse. It seems
like a very tough life, and Papa also says he misses his Mama and Papa
August 1942: 15 years old
Papa and Mama say we have to be in the house before dark, and if we
are not, we must sleep outside. Well, last night I had to sleep outside.
Good thing it is summertime! I just couldn’t stop playing Kick the Can
and Hide and Seek with my brothers and my best friend, Ray Patriarca.
Tommy told me that I should come inside with the rest of the kids, but I
didn’t listen. I am also upset that I missed my favorite radio show.
Each night, we gather around the radio to listen to such shows as Inner
Sanctum Mystery, Amos and Andy, and my personal favorite, The Shadow.
Next week I begin working at the Sea Bee Base at Quonset loading and
unloading ships for the war effort. This is a good change for me from
working in the local shops. Papa is also working for the Navy doing the
same thing. He wanted to fight in the war, but the government said he
couldn’t because it would cost too much to support his large family. So
he will continue doing what he is doing until something which offers
more money comes along.
June 1944: 17 years old
I have been working as a ship loader as of late, but when I tried to
go and work with my friend in the plumbing and carpentry business, the
owner said he could not hire me because I could not switch from working
with the government to working for a private interest. So I decided to
lie about my age and enlisted in the Navy. I leave for boot camp in a
week. I will be leaving for boot camp in Samson, New York and I am very
nervous, however, I am looking forward to leaving Providence, for this
house is getting much too crowded.
November 1944: 17 years old
I have successfully completed boot camp in Samson, New York, and I am
now stationed in Honolulu, Hawaii. The weather is beautiful, but I miss
home very much. I cannot believe I ever wanted to leave. Mama writes to
me all the time, and sends me my favorite food in the world: a box of
pepperoni. I love milk, and Mama said she would send me a cow if she
could. According to Mama’s letter, there is a big snowstorm going on in
Rhode Island. After I finished reading it, I went swimming!
July 1945: 18 years old
I am getting into big trouble here in Hawaii. My friend and I got
drunk and stole a fire truck. We got one month hard labor which included
picking up trash all over the base. This is the second time I have
gotten into this kind of trouble. Last time my friend and I went AWOL to
California. Big, Big Mistake.
June 1946: 19 years old
Last week I was discharged from the Navy on the point system, now
that the second World War is over. This was fine with me, as I missed my
family very much. It was surprisingly easy to adjust to home, I guess I
am easily adaptable. At one time, I was eager to get out of the crowded
house. Now, I do not mind at all squeezing into one of two rooms with 2
double beds. I sleep with Joey and Albert sleeps with Rene. In the
other kids room, Tommy shares a bed with Bobby and Dotty shares a bed
with Dicky, because he is the baby. It is fun to be back in the old
neighborhood with all my friends, although there is a new family on the
block. Mama doesn’t want us to hang around with their kids though,
because they are Jewish. Mama said they might want us to convert,
whatever that means, so we had better stay away from them. So my
brothers and I keep playing with our old friends.
February 1947: 19 years old
Today I married the woman I have chased around the neighborhood for
thirteen years. I told her that I knew I wanted to marry her about four
years ago, when my friends and her friends were playing Spin the Bottle,
and I purposely stopped it when the bottle came spinning towards her.
Her name is Carmella, and she says she will make me a good wife and give
me many sons. This is good, for Mama and Papa are looking forward to
August 1947: 20 years old
Carmella and I moved to Hartford to live with Aunt Marionetta. We
hear that there are lots of plumber and carpentry jobs in this area.
This is good because Carmella is expecting our first child early next
year, and I must make good money to support my family.
January 1948: 20 years old
My first son was born today, named Joseph Alphonse. My brother Joe
also opened up his own business, a drinking establishment. This worries
me because I think that he drinks too much already. But Joe is very
stubborn, and I can’t say anything to change his mind. I am still
working in the plumbing business, and doing quite well.
May 1951: 23 years old
Carmella and I have moved back to Rhode Island. Mama and Papa are now
living in Warwick, and they said we can move in with them until someone
finds another house first. This makes for cramped living conditions as
Carmella and I now have two children, the latest one being a daughter
named Barbara, born on February 27, 1949. Dicky, Dotty and Bobby are
still living at home. But we will make do. We split the bills half and
half. This is agreeable to everyone.
March 1952: 23 years old
Father Delano lives across the street from us, which is wonderful
because he is very supportive of us religiously as well as emotionally.
The other day he came to visit and noticed that all the children’s
clothes and shoes were quite worn. He asked us if there was anything
that he could do for us, but Carmella and I are much too proud to admit
that we cannot afford to clothe our children properly, so we said
nothing, and Father Delano did not press the issue.
Well, Father Delano visited us again today. He had taken up a Church
fund for us at Saturday night mass, and here are the proceeds. We are so
grateful, and it is good to know that we can depend on the Church in
our time of need.
June 1953: 24 years old
Three days ago, I went to a house that I was going to do some
plumbing work for with my partner. It was for a Jewish family. While I
was waiting for my partner to show up, Mrs. Myers asked me if I would
like some breakfast. I said yes, and she invited me in for coffee and a
bagel. The next day, the same thing happened. The third day, Mrs. Myers
asked me my name, and I told her, and she seemed shocked. I asked her if
there was anything wrong, and she said that she was under the
impression I was Jewish because of my nose! I laughed at this, but that
woman never asked me in for breakfast again, and my partner and I were
there for one more week.
February 1954: 25 years old
The plumbing business is not doing so well, so I asked Brother Joe
for a job in the bar. Although I gave him a hard time at first, he would
never turn his back on family. Joe put me in charge of collecting the
debts from customers who owed him money. My job was to go to their house
and do what it took to get the money owed to my brother. This was very
difficult to get used to, but I was a good fighter in the Navy, and
eventually it came back to me.
March 1954: 25 years old
My brother Rene was killed today in a car accident. This has
devastated Mama, as she will not come out of her room. He leaves a wife
and two kids. The brothers and I got together to grieve, and we have
made a pact to become much closer, for we realize that someday, there
will only be us kids to look out for each other.
August 1954: 26 years old
Carmella and I packed up the kids to go to Lawrence again this year.
Financially, it has been a very tough year, but our cousins say they
will help us to come and visit them anyway. Aunt Antonette has since
passed on, but the cousins keep the tradition going.
November 1956: 28 years old
Papa called me yesterday very upset. He told me about how he had
decided to go into the bakery business with a man named LeFrennier. Two
weeks after they opened shop, LeFrennier took off with all their money.
“Never trust a Frenchman, Raymondo”, Papa said to me. I promised I would
remember what he said.
November 1958: 30 years old
Today, Carmella and I purchased a house. This is a very big move for
us both financially and emotionally, for we will be moving out of Mama
and Papa’s house soon. We purchased it for $5,000 from an Irishman. I
was leery at first, but he seems like a very nice man. He has offered to
finance the mortgage for us. That is very good for us. The only
downfall is that it is a summer house, close to the ocean, and it needs
many repairs and things to make it livable year-round. So I will do the
work myself, and when the house is ready, we will make the move. Buying
this house means that I will have to work even more hours than I do now.
I already do plumbing, carpentry and any other work I can find on the
side in addition to working with Joe at the bar. However, all this hard
work does not allow for much of a social life, but at least we have our
summer vacations in Lawrence.
October 1962: 36 years old
The end of our “baby” era has come. My wife Carmella has given birth
to five more beautiful children: Cheryl, born June 16, 1954, Janice,
born January 11, 1958, Raymond, born January 13, 1959, Debbie, born
August 3, 1960 and finally, my baby, Darlene, was born today. The doctor
said it would not be in good health for Carmella to have anymore
children, so Darlene is the end. Mama and Papa are very upset with
Carmella and me for not giving the girls more traditional Italian names.
I tell them we are not in Italy, we are in America and I want my kids
to fit in. Mama did not talk to me for a month. Papa was more accepting
of the idea.
December 24, 1962: 36 years old
This year, Mama started the first Christmas Eve tradition of having
all her children’s families over for a big dinner. Dicky is the only one
who is not here, for he joined the Army and is now in Germany. The food
was wonderful, as everyone made and brought their favorite dish. There
was seafood and pasta galore, I never ate so much in my life. If only
the entire family could enjoy this feast!
November 19, 1966: 39 years old
The baby of the family, Dicky, is finally tying the knot today. Mama
and Papa are not pleased because Dicky is the only child who will not be
marrying an Italian woman. They are giving his fiancee’s parents a very
hard time about the wedding, as she wants to get married in her Irish
church, and Mama and Papa want them to get married in their Italian
Church. But as the tradition is that the bride’s parents choose the
ceremonial place, there is not much they can do about it, except to
complain to us kids. My opinion is that if they are both Catholic, what
is the difference? Besides Brother Joey, Dicky is the only one of us
kids to have a big wedding. These Irish folks must have big bucks! But I
must say that I admire Dicky for finding himself a nice college-type.
But then I knew Dicky would make more of himself. Dicky says that his
wife is making him go back and get his high school diploma. At least one
of us will have one.
September 17, 1969: 42 years old
Tonight my brother Dicky called me up on the phone to ask me if I was
going to his first-born daughter Stephanie’s baptism the next day,
because brother Bobby’s wife had called him to say that Mama and Papa
were boycotting the baptism because it was not in their Church. They
felt that the only good baptism was a genuine Roman Catholic baptism. I
told Dicky that I would be there, but it was a lie, because Mama and
Papa have threatened to disown any one of us who goes to the baptism. I
feel very bad about this. Not only that, but all the brothers including
sister Dotty, lied about going.
July 1, 1976: 43 years old
Brother Joe has passed away at the age of 47. He died on the dance
floor with a woman other than his wife, and has brought shame to the
family. Alcoholism played a part, and his heart finally gave out. So I
have been left with the bar to do as I see fit. Joe’s wife Lucia will
not speak to any of us, as she feels we are to blame for everything. Two
brothers gone, and we brothers and sister grow still closer. I turn on
my favorite tune called “Sleepwalk”. Sometimes I like to listen to ‘50’s
music, but I prefer instrumental music much better because it reminds
me of cooking with Mama and listening to her old music, especially when I
April 1972: 44 years old
Some time ago, brother Joey allowed mob members, who happened to be
very good friends of his, to come into the bar to set up booky
arrangements with the customers. I was put in charge of the books. Joe
gave them 50% of everything that came into the bar. Now they want the
same agreement from me, but now I tell them that they can take care of
the booking themselves, and I will rent them the space to do the
booking, and they keep their own profits. They have agreed to this
arrangement. But now I am bored without the booking job, so I will have
to find another challenge.
October 1973: 46 years old
I decided to put a slot machine in the bar. This has brought me $500 a
day in profits. Unfortunately, the cops have come in and confiscated
it. That’s okay, it is only a misdemeanor charge. Next time I will put
in two slot machines. That will bring me in $1000 a day!
December 1973: 46 years old
Today the police came in and confiscated the slot machines. I also
have been arrested, and now I must appear in court because this is my
second offense of this kind. Hopefully Papa and Mama will not be too
ashamed of me.
September 1974: 47 years old
A very sad day, for Papa has passed away. He had a heart attack, and
died in his sleep. Mama is heartbroken, and says that she cannot live
without him. Us kids tell her she can, that she has all of us, but she
has confined herself to her room just as she did after brother Rene and
Joe’s deaths. Somehow I think that my trouble with the law brought upon
his illness and death, but it is now too late to apologize.
February 1975: 48 years old
Mama passed away yesterday. She never quite recovered from Papa’s
death, and said in the hospital that she could not wait to see Papa and
her sons in Heaven. She told me to look out for the rest of the kids; I
obeyed her wishes, and she died just moments later.
June 1980: 53 years old
My youngest child has graduated from high school. She, like the
others has no desire to go to college. It has always been my dream for
my children to get more of an education than I did. I suppose I should
be thankful that at least they have all graduated high school. With
Darlene’s graduation day coming up, I have gotten to thinking that I
wish I had made something more of myself, and therefore maybe my kids
would have a better life. Although I would not take back any of the
gifts God has given me, I have to wonder. . . what if my background had
been different, like Dicky’s wife Bev? You can bet her kids will get the
education they deserve. Although money would have been tough, I would
have found a way to put each and every one of them through college.
August 1980: 53 years old
Today I went fishing with brother Bobby. This is my favorite thing to
do next to golfing since we purchased our small but cozy house near the
water. I find the ocean to be the most beautiful thing in the world. I
often wonder when I look out at the ocean what it was like for Papa to
sail half way ‘round the world to America. So I decided to find out at
least what it is like to sail, and purchased a boat with the last of the
money I earned from the slot machines in Brother Joe’s bar. I will
keep it docked in Galilee, my favorite little town in Rhode Island.
I have decided to shut brother Joe’s bar down, as my wife and I are
concerned about the types of people moving into the neighborhood, all
kinds of Chinese-looking people and Niggers. So now I spend my days
doing some carpentry work, but my health is failing me, so I mostly fish
and golf with my brothers. This gives us a chance to spend more time
December 1983: 56 years old
The Christmas Eve tradition that Mama started some 20 years ago has
come to a halt. Brother Bobby’s wife, Gilda, says that the family is
too big, and her house is too small, which is where we have gotten
together since Mama passed on. I am deeply disappointed, and now we go
back to each family having their own Christmas Eve celebration. What
would Mama say to this?
October 31, 1985: 58 years old
Brother Tommy has died from the cancer which ravaged his body for
years. Dicky and I went down to North Carolina to visit him after his
wife called and said that it would not be long. Dicky and I were too
late, and I will carry this guilt in my heart forever.
January 20, 1986: 58 years old
My only sister Dorothy has died today in Rhode Island Hospital of
cancer. She has been ill for some time now, and Albert, Dicky, Bobby and
I think that her suffering has gone on long enough. The end was painful
and sad, for our only sister has gone on to be with our parents.
May 1987: 60 years old
My birthday today has made me reminisce about the old days, and my
dreams which have not exactly come true. My dream of Italy was destroyed
three months ago with my second heart attack, as the doctor has told me
that I cannot fly. I have finally given up smoking; it is hard to
believe that the cool Camels and Lucky Strikes of the old days have done
this much damage to me. I try to get Carmella to stop, but she will not
listen. My kids are happy, although I wish some of them would find
better mates, but whatever makes them happy. . . Brother Dicky is taking
me out golfing this afternoon for my birthday. Oh how I miss the
carefree days of playing pool and touch football with all my brothers.
Yesterday I received the best gift of all my life, my first grandchild.
Although I never had much time for my own kids, what with all my various
jobs in life, these kids I’m going to give all my attention to. I
believe that they are the key to the future. I look at my nieces and
nephews, and even my youngest kids, and I feel things are different now.
They don’t have the responsibleness that me and my brothers and sister
had, and they don’t respect their elders as much as we were taught to
do. If this is what progress is, I don’t want it.
July 1994: 67 years old
Yesterday, brother Alberto joined Mama, Papa, Renaldo, Joseph,
Thomas, and Dorothy in Heaven. He too has succumbed to cancer, and now
we are down to three. Unfortunately, I suffered from my third heart
attack the day before his death, so I was in the hospital the day he
died. Again, I did not have the chance to say good-bye and to tell him I
love him. But there is nothing I can do now, for he is in God’s hands.
Robert, Richard, and I have made a promise to start those Christmas Eve
parties again, and to rekindle a dwindling Italian tradition. Maybe I
can dress up like Santa as Brother Tommy did for all his nieces and
nephews so many years ago. Now wouldn’t that be a hoot.
November 1995: 68 years old
Dicky’s oldest daughter, Stephanie is coming over to visit. She
called a couple of weeks ago to ask me if she could talk to me for some
class that she is taking at the University. She says she wants to know
about my Italian heritage. I don’t know exactly what she means by
heritage, but I’ll give it my best shot. I asked her if she knew the
questions already that she was going to ask me, but she assured me that
they were not tough questions, and that I’d see what she means when she
gets here. This is the first time she has come to our house without
Dicky, and the closest I have been to her is a dance on her wedding day,
which was very short. I am a little nervous, and very excited, because
for all that I have been through, I realize now that my family is
everything. I do not have much else at this time. I hope I don’t cry
when she gets here.
DIARY OF STEPHANIE IOVINO HEALY
November 29, 1995: 26 years old
This morning at 11:00am, I pulled into the driveway of the home of my
Uncle Raymond. I was really nervous; I hadn’t been to his home on my
own, and hadn’t had a ton of contact with my father’s side of the
family. Don’t get me wrong; there were plenty of times I’d seen my
family: once -a- year on Christmas Eve and other exceptions like high
school graduations and over the years, had come to look forward to. But
some time ago those stopped; Mom says the family got too big. And for
reasons I was unaware of, my mother was never fond of my father’s
parents, so visitation with them was kept to a minimum, and many died
when I was younger.
Mom never talked bad of the Iovino clan, but she also never
encouraged interaction with that side of the family. Dad’s side always
seemed kind of foreign to me. My sister and I looked different; for one,
we were blond and they never let us forget it. They cracked jokes and
showed this tough exterior that is so like my Dad. My Dad was an
integral part of the fun times in my life growing up. He taught my
friends how to dive, he headed to the beach with my sister and I during
his two weeks of vacation he took every summer. My first memories of
Scarborough Beach are with him throwing us into the waves. But it took
me a bit to crack his tougher exterior, only to find out that he is a
big softie. But are his brothers just like him? I was about to find out.
The short answer? Yes, or at least my Uncle Raymond is. My uncle
has proven to be a huge softie and as soon as I sat down, he started
crying. I was startled at first, and I told him that we did not have to
talk about anything that might upset him, and he replied that he didn’t
just cry when he was sad, but that he also cried when he was happy. I
stared at him for a bit, feeling a bit uncomfortable, and then I slowly
realized that I wasn’t there just to complete one of my last college
papers. I was there to understand where my Dad came from and to
understand that, I had to dig deep. Dig into my family’s past, from
Italy to the USA. Tears sprang to my eyes and the years slipped away. We
talked for hours, as if we had known each other for years, but knew no
specifics about the other. My Auntie Camille hovered around waiting on
us hand and foot, while their sons and daughters flowed through the
house, dropping by unannounced: Something not done often in the house I
grew up in. I soon realized that this house was a home – a home open to
all who wanted to stop in to say hello, fill their tummies, give a hug.
I hadn’t planned on staying for dinner, which is served promptly at
2:00 pm on a Sundays, just like it was for me growing up. You were at
the dinner table until you had a job, and only then was it excused. And
you may have still gotten a hard time about it! But before I knew it, a
huge plate of the best-looking macaroni, meatballs, sausage and gravy
sat before me. “You’re staying for dinner, right?” asked my Auntie
Camille. As my Dad would say, “You’re darn tootin’!” Dessert was served
right after dinner, just the way I like it. Uncle Raymond said he got it
from a local bakery especially for me. I felt very special in that
The revelations which flowed more easily after a good meal were
startling and surprising. I had an some preconceived notions about my
Italian heritage, but this was not what I was expecting. Still, many
questions in my mind have been answered, and one of those revealed why
my Mom felt so uncomfortable around Dad’s family.
My uncle’s health, unbeknownst to me, is fading, as he has a little
box in the side of his stomach which kicks his heart into action if
needed. He can no longer drive, but enjoys golfing with Dad every
Tuesday morning without fail. Uncle Bobby used to golf with them all the
time, but as of late, has made excuses. According to Uncle Raymond,
honesty is the number one value in his book, which makes Uncle Bobby’s
excuses even more painful.
Our family has started the Christmas Eve tradition once again, and I
look forward to it now, more than ever; I know now what it represents: A
tradition started by my paternal grandmother and a symbol of what
remains of a large Italian family. And another morsel of valuable
information revealed itself: Uncle Raymond had filled in as “Santa” some
years, and others, it was Uncle Tommy.
Although this project changed my views about family and life in
general, I can’t help but feel sad. I’ve had so little contact with
Dad’s side that the deaths of many relatives had not touched me as much
as others, a few having passed before my birth. But the few Sunday’s
worth of time that I had with my Uncle Raymond left me saddened;
saddened that it had taken me so long to get to know him. One of the
last comments Uncle Ray made to me before I left that last Sunday
evening was that looking back, he didn’t know where all those years have
gone. He suddenly woke up one day and felt…old. I’m hoping this paper
will be a legacy of sorts for the Iovino family in the years ahead. I’m
also hoping to show him j- and the rest of our family – that his life
didn’t just disappear in a day and that it lives on through many
generations to come.
April 22, 2004: 34 years old
Uncle Raymond has passed. I was so saddened to hear this, more than
any other Iovino relative so far. As I read his obituary, I was able to
remind myself what that project meant nearly a decade before, and those
special Sundays we sat together, broke bread, and shared stories that
made me simultaneously laugh and cry.
March 3, 2005: 35 years old
Today was the last day on earth for my Auntie Camille, aka Carmela.
She passed away less then one year after her beloved husband, my Uncle
Raymond. I spent days trying to find that old paper somewhere in my
files and was finally successful. As I began to read, I realized I had
come almost full-circle. I smiled as I read how these two lovebirds had
met – through that age-old game of “Spin the Bottle”, and can’t help but
smile and giggle over this fact. I think back to the huge plates of
food she put in front of me, while I listened with rapture over her
loving husband’s life story. How grateful I am to have had that time
with both of them. How precious this paper turned out to be – not only
for myself, but also another generation of Iovino. Like my daughter Maia
who was now a toddler. How will she feel about this story? We shall
The Passing of Ricardo Donato Iovino AKA Dad
The Passing of Ricardo Donato Iovino AKA Dad
October 24, 2014: 45 years old
I was searching for something completely different – a church
document I had begun reading earlier in the day – but instead, stumbled
across this. “This” is a memoir I had written for a college project more
than two decades earlier. I lovingly read it through, start to finish.
And then, I read it again.
It has been nearly two months since the passing of my Dad, the
youngest child born to Guisseppe (Joseph) and Pasquelina Iovino. During
his final week of life, my Uncle Bobby and Cousin Sandra came to visit
him at South County Hospital. We were all cognizant of the fact that Dad
had just days left, but we laughed and reminisced about the Christmas
Eves we spent together, the younger group playing Simon and watching
MTV, the older ones playing pool downstairs. We covered years in just
hours, and it was one of the few things I’ve treasured from that last
week with Dad.
Today, just one son remains. At Dad’s Celebration of Life, we
chatted, laughed at our many memories, and spoke about making the time
to get together during the upcoming holiday season. I’m hoping we can
all come together, sparking that wonderful feeling we shared as
children, and in the process, lovingly honoring the Iovino’s who’ve
passed before us. I know with absolute certainty, that they’ll be
smiling down on the rest of the clan. I pray often that it’ll be many,
many years before I add my final paragraph.
One Year After Dad’s Passing
As the one-year anniversary of my Dad’s passing came and went, I was
filled with a mixture of heartache, pain, and Relief. Yes, Relief with a
capital “R”. The past year had been filled with all of the “Firsts”
without Dad; the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, his
birthday, Mom’s birthday, his granddaughter’s birthday, and finally, my
birthday; special days without him seemed like torture and he was sorely
Those who knew my Dad well, knew what an incredibly humorous, caring,
giving, and dedicated man he was. “Hi, my name is Sally, and I’ll be
your server today.” Dad would almost always respond “Hi, my name is
Dick, and I’ll be your customer today.” Chuckles ensued around the
table. He spent all of his retirement years on a golf course, and I know
the players appreciated his humor as much as his skill. I bet there are
more than a few who feel the loss as they pass through the Pro Shop.
The year hasn’t been pretty. In fact, it has probably been one of the
worst years in my life – and I’ve had some pretty bad years. Not only
had I been grieving the loss of the first-and-best man in my life, but
there were many times when I had to push aside my own grief to take care
of my Mom and my daughter.
I’ve also felt the stab of knowledge and the subsequent dull-ache of
losing my favorite aunt. My Auntie Jill was married to my Uncle Bobby,
the sole survivor of the original Iovino Clan, and the second youngest.
My Auntie Jill had acted as a Godmother to me; she was always honest,
loving, a fantastic cook, and made me feel like I was always welcome in
her home. One of my fondest memories is staying with her family during
the days immediately following the Blizzard of 1978. She was obsessed
with Elvis, and when my husband and I danced to “Can’t Help Falling in
Love”, Auntie Jill clapped and yelled out “Alright Stephanie!” It will
one of those things that will remain in my heart until it is my turn.
So as this “worst-ever” year comes to a close, I try to tell myself
that Dad wouldn’t want me to suffer over this loss, but to rejoice in
him, his ability to make people laugh, and most of all, to see the
bright side in any situation. I feel my Dad around all the time; he
comes in the form of music while I’m driving, his voice in my heart,
and through the smiles and laughs of my daughter, Maia.
The Passing of Alice V. (Lombardi) Iovino, Wife of Alberto Iovino
June 4, 1933 – August 7, 2019 (age 86)
Alice V. Iovino, 86, of Providence passed away Wednesday
morning August 7, 2019 peacefully at her son’s home in Cranston
surrounded by her loving family. Daughter of the late Vincenzo and
Olympia (Marcello) Lombardi, wife of the late Albert Iovino. Alice was
born on June 4, 1933 Vincenza Lombardi and was a life long resident of
Federal Hill. She was best known by all from working at Iovino’s Market
and Deli, a family-owned business, for over 30 years. She was always
laughing, known by many as quite the practical joker and for being
extremely generous. She was also a lifelong parishioner of Mount Carmel
Church, Providence. She leaves behind a son, Albert J.Iovino, and his
wife, Alicia, daughter Janice L. Ash, and her husband, David, grandson
Michael J. Iovino, and his fiancée, Jennifer A. Keogh, and granddaughter
Kristen N. Ash. Survived by Joseph Lombardi, she was the sister of the
late Peter, Frank, Louis, Anthony, Elena Dwyer and Lucy Rinaldo. The
funeral will be held Saturday August 10, 2019 at 8:45 am from the
Woodlawn Funeral Home 600 Pontiac Avenue Cranston, RI with a Mass of
Christian Burial will be celebrated at 10 am in St. Mary Church
1525 Cranston St, Cranston, RI. Burial will be in St. Ann Cemetery in
Cranston. Calling hours Friday in the Funeral Home from 5-8pm. The
family would like to thank all at Kindred Hospice for all their support
and wonderful care and in lieu of flowers they ask that donations in
memory of Alice be made to Kindred Hospice 2374 Post Road Suite 206
Warwick RI 02886 or to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.